Break out your ugly sweater because it’s the hap-hap-happiest time of the year.
The office holiday party comes in all shapes and sizes, but one thing’s for certain: you don’t want to make it memorable for the wrong reasons. Here are 3 tips for avoiding a holiday party fail.
Modern Manners Guy is hosted by Richie Frieman. A transcript is available at Simplecast.
Have an etiquette question? Email Richie at manners@quickanddirtytips.com.
Modern Manners Guy is a part of Quick and Dirty Tips.
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Hello everyone and thank you for joining me for the new edition of Modern Manners Guy. It's been a while since I was a part of the QDT family, so I wanted to take some time to re-introduce myself. My name is Richie Frieman, a husband, father of two, and as St. Martin's Press has dubbed me, a “Modern Day Renaissance Man” due to a rather unorthodox career. From a life as an author and illustrator of seven books in multiple genres, an artist, screenwriter, cartoonist, and even a champion professional wrestler, I like to think I have seen the world from many unique angles. Outside of the arts, I'm also the Co-Founder/CEO of Brand U Sports, an innovative sports marketing firm.
Now, my approach towards etiquette isn't exactly what I could call white glove or "hoity-toity". I look at manners as a way of striving on a daily basis to improve how you treat the people around you and doing your best not to be a jerk. Whether it's in the office, family life, or your personal interactions, I'll be addressing things that I have witnessed but also, I'd love to hear what you have seen and thought to yourself, "I can't believe they actually said that?"
With that, let’s get started with the show!
Break out your ugly sweater because it’s the hap-hap-happiest time of the year. Yet, with all the elaborate gift-giving and warm wishes, the holiday season also brings one of the most uncomfortable traditions – the office holiday party. The office holiday party may come in all shapes and sizes, but the overall tone of this annual extravaganza has the same key rules that have been set in stone since the dawn of the stapler.
Sadly, no matter how easy it should be (should being the opportune word) for people to make it to and from an office holiday party with grace and class, there is always someone who makes it especially memorable… and for all the wrong reasons. So, before you drown your sorrows of missing last quarter’s number in Bob from marketing’s spiked eggnog, check out my top three quick and dirty tips on 3 Ways To Ruin Your Office Holiday Party (and not be “that person”).
Oh, Zoom, how I love thee, let me count the ways. For one, Zoom has made the greatest argument for and against remote work. Secondly, Zoom has made some people forget what it means to be a socially acceptable professional and properly handle simple human interactions without a screen in front of them. There’re two types of people when it comes to Zoom etiquette (which I’ll dive into with a future episode); some see it simply as a way to communicate visually from different locations, while others view it as some sort of invisibility cloak to hide behind. “You’re not on mute, Walter. We are all watching you yell profanities at your six-year-old. And please cover up your tanktop.” Realizing there is a clear-cut divide between how to properly handle Zoom meetings, rude behavior unfortunately trickles over to the Zoom Holiday Party as well. For those new to celebrating holidays with modern technology you may wonder, “What happens during a Zoom holiday party?” The answer: Mayhem. Pure, unabashed, mayhem.
Last year, I attended a Zoom holiday party and the assignment was to bring a meal and a drink as if it was an in-person event, so we could all dine together. Easy enough… well, not for Greg in Accounting. Greg is in his early thirties, lives alone, has four cats, two birds, and I’m pretty sure is a Flat Earther. Aside from the latter, Greg is not a bad guy to be around, however, when this Zoom party hit, Greg decided it was time for “The Greg Show.” While Greg would call his display of “holiday spirit” a marvelous example of his personality, HR thought otherwise. When I say “marvelous,” I mean Greg showed up to the party already having cracked open his bottle of new Makers Mark and wearing a shirt that read, “I’m Santa’s Naughty Elf”. Not only did he come drunk, he continued to get even more wasted. For a good reference, check out the scene from Tommy Boy where Chris Farley’s character lights the toy car on fire in an office meeting. Great scene!
Greg was loud, sweating profusely, overly laughing, sloppily stabbing at his lasagna, and kept yelling at his bird, Roger. Within twenty minutes, someone had texted Greg about his improper behavior and within 30 minutes he was kicked out of the party altogether. Not only did he make a fool of himself, he made the rest of the party super-uncomfortable.
When it comes to office parties via Zoom, it’s proper to treat it as any other corporate event. Yes, you can dress more casual and you can make the party not solely about work, but keep in mind this doesn’t mean you break out your inner party animal. Rather than having a career-ending episode like Greg, use this time to talk about other things in your life that people may not know about. Break out into individual chats with colleagues too. Try discussing hobbies, fun holiday plans, or an interesting holiday memory. Use the time in the comfort of your home office as a casual way to allow people to get to know the “you behind the screen.”
For the life of me, I will never understand why some people treat the holiday party as a “coming out of my introverted shell” event? I can hear some of you say, “Come on, Mr. Manners, don’t be such a party pooper. Kick back, relax, and have some fun!” For those new to my show, I’m hardly a square. To that point, I make it a mission to know my audience. And when it comes to an office holiday party, that audience is the same as it is the other 364 days of the year. The office holiday party isn’t your one-day pass to let your freak flag fly or show off your Bills’ Mafia skills by jumping through a table. It’s also not the time to indulge in food, drinks, and amenities as if you’ve never been to a party other than your Uncle Howard’s Memorial Day Crab Feast.
Whenever I see someone light up the dance floor with their latest TikTok moves and announce that they can twerk better than anyone else, I want to run and hide for them. NO ONE, I repeat, NO ONE has ever said, “Kenny, I’m giving you this promotion because you really wowed us when you ripped your shirt off and danced around the restaurant bar to ‘Made You Look’.” Also, no one thinks you’re “cool” or laid back by double-fisting two tumblers of Tito’s because it’s your “vibe.” When it comes to the office holiday party, eat, drink, and be merry to your heart’s content but don’t do it to the point of feeling it’s your sole job to breathe life into the event. Bring some holiday energy and use this time to mingle in person with people you don’t usually get to see. Go up to a colleague with their partner you never met and introduce yourself. This is the time of year when people are nicer and more open to conversation, so take full advantage of their willingness to engage.
Similar to Tip #2, the office holiday party tends to be a time when people get a liiiiittle too comfortable with the folks around them. Granted, I’ll chalk up some of these mishaps to pregaming before they enter the party, but it’s never good to lower your corporate guard down because it’s a party. Don’t try out the latest joke you stole from a stand-up you saw or walk in wearing something you would don during a bachelor/bachelorette weekend in South Beach. It’s not “you being you,” it’s you being waaaay out of touch with reality. It’s like the old saying; don’t dress for the job you have, dress for the job you want. The same thing goes for a holiday office party; whether it’s a black tie event or a “Come Dressed As Your Favorite Holiday Character,” don’t treat this like a college reunion with your best buddies.
Always remember, the office party is – and always will be – work. It’s meant to be a time to forget about the daily grind, but that’s easier said than done. Think of an office holiday party as an in-office networking event or a platonic round of speed dating where you should try to hop from as many conversations as possible to glad-hand with your peers. Dress the way you would on your own time but with professionalism. Talk more casually than you normally would but don’t start dropping F-Bombs for a greater effect. The office party CAN be and WILL be fun but it’s only one night – heck, more like only a couple of hours. Life will go back to normal when the clock strikes midnight and you’d rather be remembered for your lighthearted demeanor than inappropriately doing an impression of your boss’ deep New York accent. Fuggedaboutit!
Alright, so where are my improper holiday stories? Send them my way! I can’t wait to hear about it. As always, if you have a manners question, email me at manners@quickanddirtytips.com. Tune in this February when Modern Manners Guy returns with more tips for a more polite life.
Do you have any recent graduates in your circle, or perhaps someone who is looking to start a new career, check out my book, Reply All…And Other Ways to Tank Your Career for great tips and advice on job success. It's available now!