The last thing you want is to show up with a disingenuous excuse that gives “my dog ate my homework” a run for its money.
No one likes to be late and no one likes to be the one having to wait. However, if you are going to miss the meeting time, you better have a good reason and it should always be truthful.
Modern Manners Guy is hosted by Richie Frieman. A transcript is available at Simplecast.
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Two of the biggest issues I have is when people are late and—on the rare occasion—when I’m running late myself. When someone is late, I totally get it… only as long as they do, too. Some people act like being late is “their thing” which along with “me being me” (as I mentioned in a previous episode) is an excuse that’s more useless than ordering a diet soda with your extra value meal at McDonald’s. When it comes to me being late, I am taking my thumbs through a session of CrossFit with the number of apologetic texts I send to the person. Whether you think being late is okay (which, heads up, it’s not) or like me, feel that being late is a stain on your reputation, IF you’re going to be late you better have a good reason. The last thing you want is to show up with a disingenuous excuse that gives “my dog ate my homework” a run for its money.
So, before you show up so late that the person has already left and you’re the reason why, check out my 3 awful excuses for being late.
Whenever it’s an in-person or virtual meeting, I always remember the magical words of Vince Lombardi, regarding punctuality: “If you’re early, you’re on time... if you’re on time, you’re late... if you’re late, don’t even bother showing up.” Not only does Lombardi nail the topic of respecting someone’s time but it’s a point that crosses all aspects of work; a lunch meeting, an office meeting, a Zoom meeting, you name it. So, when I find myself in a situation where someone runs solely on their clock, I think of that quote and imagine Lombardi blowing a whistle in their face at a practice in the dead of winter. Harsh? Nah, pretty spot on. Bottom line, being late is rude and obnoxious, yet what’s even worse is when someone shows up carrying something extra from a stop they “had to make” on the way over. Tell me I’m not alone on this.
Have you ever had someone arrive late to a meeting with a fresh cup of coffee, a tasty snack, or even a shopping bag with them? I have had this happen several times and I’m pretty sure they could see the smoke flying out of my ears. Ugh, where’s the Lombardi whistle when I need it? Allow me to paint the picture for you: there you are, on time, or early even, and as you check your watch for the fifth time, the person you’re meeting with rolls up holding a hot cup of Starbucks because they “had to make a quick stop”. A quick stop? Is a fresh cup of Joe more important than the meeting we both changed our schedules for? We could have met for coffee. Or, better yet, you could have at least told me you making a quick coffee stop and asked me if I wanted anything. Talk about having poor manners. To top it all off, that same person expects you to be completely okay with their tardiness. Yeah, sure, take your time, it’s not like I have anything else to do with the extra 25 minutes you stole from me by incorporating an unimportant errand before meeting up. If you ever decide to say “I had to make a quick stop” it better be because you have a ten-inch cut on your head that is shooting out blood like a broken fire hydrant or you had to rescue a puppy on the side of the road. Both are very suitable excuses. In all seriousness, if you are sick or have an accident, it’s proper to reschedule, however, if you did find a puppy you BETTER bring it with you so I can play with it.
When you’re going to meet someone at an agreed-upon time, it’s never acceptable to show up late because something that wasn’t an emergency was a higher priority for you. Whether it’s in or out of the office, there is nothing that can’t wait when someone else is waiting for you. No coffee is that necessary, you’re not going to starve if you can’t have a snack for the next hour, and you surely can do your personal errands at another time. When you show up late because you prioritized something else, it shows that person you don’t value their time. In turn, that person will assume that’s how you treat everyone and it will only harm their impression of you being reliable.
As a writer, I love a good story, especially when it’s true. I enjoy hearing about how people met, funny real-life situations, embarrassing antics, and of course, when someone spots a rude act they can’t wait to tell me about. What I don’t care for is when I’m fed a line of crap that is so beyond belief that it makes Game of Thrones sound more realistic. We have all dealt with the tall tale fable someone rambles about which grows more distorted with every absurd detail. For example, two weeks ago, I was waiting for a lunch meeting and the person was 25 minutes late. That’s CRAZY late by the way. They did however text me to say they would be a little later than they anticipated. Okay, well, at least they alerted me, so I can’t be as mad… until I heard their excuse. You would have thought this person was on an episode of Impractical Jokers, where every oddball scenario was thrown their way while trying to make it to our lunch.
It pains me to go into too much detail but here is the legitimate rollercoaster of an excuse they gave me—in order:
Yup, this is what I was dealing with. Their story reeked worse than their poorly-cleaned shoes and I was fed up with them from the jump.
If you’re going to be late, never go down a rabbit hole of unbelievable stories that have a domino effect of one mishap after the next. When someone spouts out some wild story, it makes the person hearing it think to themselves, “Do they think I’m that stupid?” When you’re running late, be honest, be upfront, and own it. First, always call or text—which should have happened when her boss called her and she knew it was going over. That was the first mistake, but regardless of how absent-minded you were at that moment, just put yourself in their shoes—would you believe that you were late because a marching band just happened to be dancing past your house or office, keeping you from leaving on time? Hardly. Save your excuses and simply come clean. Treat the person who has been waiting for you to a meal, a drink, or make it up to them at a later time, so they understand that you know how badly you screwed up.
What’s more upsetting than being forgotten? Not much. Especially when it comes to plans that both parties agreed to ahead of time. But hey, no worries, so glad I’m nowhere close to being top of mind for you… said no one ever. Now, some of you may argue that everyone is allowed to be forgetful or that it’s happened to all of us. Yes to both, however, as a professional, this excuse is so easy to avoid. Why, you ask? Well, there’s this super-cool device every single adult on the planet has called a cell phone. This little device not only provides you with the ability to reach out and talk to someone in real-time, but it also has a calendar on it, which is set to alert said user when a meeting is coming up. Not a single working professional can tell me they don’t have a calendar invite alert on their phone. Impossible! A work calendar on your phone is required by 99.99999% of companies and that little ding or beep you hear coming out of your phone isn’t just a random timer—it’s an alert reminding you of something important. Unless you’re a professional snake wrangler and two dozen rattlesnakes just got loose under your watch, then yes, you can say, “I forgot.” I’ll totally believe you. But if your last name isn’t Irwin and you have an Australian accent, it’s rude to just forget.
If you ask my wife, she’ll tell you I’m forgetful and she does have a point to some degree (even though most of those times are regarding a random item I forgot at the store). However, one thing I never neglect is an event that’s on my calendar, which is connected to my phone, which is always by my side, which ALERTS ME WITH A DING! Regardless of the importance of the meeting, no one wants to be on the receiving side of the “I forgot” explanation. When you say this, it only says the meeting was not essential enough for you. You heard the alert go off and you chose to ignore it.
Yes, things come up and yes, random acts can derail your attention, but modern technology has provided us with a plethora of resources to signal everyone in attendance as to why you are behind schedule. So, whether you’re fibbing or fumbling for an explanation, slow down, take a step back, be kind, and just be honest. You’re already in the wrong but this time at least you can get some respect by calling yourself out and taking accountability. Even if your ego is too big to admit it, find the strength deep down to do so.