In my tenure as Modern Manners Guy, I like to think I could make a top 1,000 list of the rudest people in the office but I’ve narrowed it down to a three part series, outlining my favorites… well, least favorites, but you get my drift. Now, let’s bring on round two!
Wow, wow, wow… That’s all I can say about the response to Part One of rude office weirdos. As promised, let’s bring on round two! Thankfully, I was not the only person who fell victim to the negative vibes of office weirdos who make life unmanageable for their coworkers. And like I did in Part One, I want to be clear that not all weirdos are toxic and as someone who spent over a decade as a professional wrestler, I recognize I have lost total ability to accuse anyone of being a little, well, off. But the people we’ll highlight in this series embody certain quirks that have caused a greater riff in the office since the Coke vs. Pepsi battles of the early nineties.
So, before you totally write off Henry from accounting as being too weird because he collects his toenail clippings in a mason jar, let’s give the Henrys of the world a chance with my list of 9 Of The Weirdest Coworkers: Part 2. Okay, so maybe there is no hope for Henry… but a mannerly person can find the good in anyone. Eh, who am I kidding—he’s gross.
Whether in your personal life or at work, we all know a Lone Wolf who prefers to keep to themselves, making little to no effort to engage with others. I’ve met tons of Lone Wolves in my life, who despite all the office fun, still insist on a life of solitude: lunches alone, coffee by themselves, and barely says a word unless asked. This by no means makes the Lone Wolf a bad person nor should we ask the Lone Wolf in your life to change their ways—however, when it comes to the office culture their preference for isolation can be rather damaging. Let me be clear, this is not a knock on any introverts, because whether someone prefers their pet over people or on the flip side, can't get enough of entertaining a big crowd, there is not one person out there who could argue against some extra me-time every now and then. Yet, with the Lone Wolf, there’s being an introvert, and then simply being so self-socially sequestered that it makes everyone in the office have to walk on eggshells around them 24/7. When that happens, it becomes a problem.
Ironically, despite the Long Wolf’s efforts to go unnoticed, in every office, big or small, the Lone Wolf tends to stand out due to their preferred seclusion. By insisting on not being social, their actions give them a weird sense of negative notoriety, especially to people that don’t know the Lone Wolf well enough to accept them for who they are. This is where the issue of being a Lone Wolf goes from “everyone has a right to their privacy” to “this person is way too awkward to work with.” As I mentioned before, you do not have to be the social butterfly of the office, yet when it comes to a positive office culture, everyone must make personal sacrifices to appease the greater good and that means the Lone Wolf must learn how to run with the rest of the pack from time to time. If someone in the office is constantly taking themselves out of work obligations, just because they want to, it can—and will—come across as rude, whether the Lone Wolf wants to accept that fact or not.
I have always argued that when it comes to work, not everyone gets to use their “personality” or awkwardness as a free pass out of office engagements. By this, I’m not asking the Lone Wolf to howl into the microphone for karaoke with the team or throw back drinks at happy hour just so people like them more. I’m also not implying that a vegetarian MUST dive into “Wing Night” at the bar or someone who keeps Kosher rip apart shellfish just to “fit in.” Dietary issues and religious factors should be respected and taken into consideration for any office event. However, aside from those exceptions, it’s proper for everyone to play ball.
When dealing with the Lone Wolf, the best thing to do is continually invite them to join you, even if you know they’re going to decline. Never let the Lone Wolf get away with settling for not partaking in the office environment because you never know when they may be interested. Social interactions are one thing but if the Lone Wolf is dodging team requirements left and right, they’re using their individuality as a scapegoat. With that, I believe it’s only proper to sit the Lone Wolf down and outline a plan to handle their preferences with the team’s ideas. A positive work environment is more about being a team player—think more like a member of a basketball team working together on the court than a boxer alone in the ring. After all, no one gets to sit back in the corner when it comes to building a positive workplace… unless it’s Henry and his jar of toenail clippings. He can work from home as looooong as he likes.
“Did I ever tell you about that one time in band camp?”
“Hey, Paul did I ever tell you about the time I once saw Taylor Swift at Shake Shack in LA? I told her to ‘shake it off’! Seriously! I swear!”
The first line was from the classic movie American Pie but the Shake Shack event was a true story as told to my friend Paul, by his Office Storyteller. This weirdsmobile can often hold the moniker of the “Over Talker” as well, but the Office Storyteller is someone who has a tall tale for everything—projects, vacations, events, conferences, you name it—they’ve done it all and won’t hesitate to tell you about it.
Now, as a writer, l love a good story, especially when it’s true, however, the Office Storyteller tends to take the improper lead on being the narrator of every single situation that pops up with more fiction than fact (like seeing Taylor Swift at a Shake Shack). The Office Storyteller may have good intentions but their timing is consistently off and their ability to read the room couldn’t be any farther from ideal. Along with their lack of timing, their stories get wilder and wilder with every detail, and having to decide what is real and a lie can result in a reputation backfire. Even if the Office Storyteller is a rather pleasant person, their inability to let others shine turns their kindness into being one of the weirdest and most improper coworkers in the office.
Take Brooke from San Diego, who told me of one situation involving her Office Storyteller, Gene, that became detrimental to a major project for the company. Gene would rave about his time working overseas, mingling with celebrities, and holding various “records” for his feats of strength in college. Of course he did. Brooke was used to hearing several of his tales and learned to ignore them like bad muzak in a grocery store. However, during one meeting with a major client, the Gene Show became the downfall of the deal right from the start. While kibitzing with the client before the meeting got underway, the client mentioned a former company they used to work for and before they could go into detail, Gene took the reins. Matching the normal characteristics of the Office Storyteller, Gene dominated the conversation, rudely pushed his own narrative, ignored anyone else in the room trying to speak, and even shushed Brooke when she tried to intervene. Gene began a long and winding road, that led the customer back to the door (little Beatles reference for you)—but in this case, it was an exit door to be exact.
Afterwards, Gene was reprimanded by not only Brooke but management and had a nasty reputation for not only being a blowhard but also being too egotistical to get out of his own way. As a result, Gene was put on observance for his actions and his storytelling took a backseat. The Gene situation is a perfect example of someone’s weirdness becoming too out of control and something that should have been stopped a while ago. Sadly, it was Gene’s own doing that made for a rather interesting story at the watercooler. “Hey Gene, this one time, a jerk in the office ruined a deal because they couldn’t stop lying!”
There once was a time in Corporate America when it was the standard norm to work 30+ years at one company and retire with having the longest tenure in the office. Whether that’s the case for some of you or not, there is a fine line between pulling rank based on your years of service or being unwilling to change with the times. This is the situation with Mr./Mrs. Tenure who sees no desire to change and won’t search for a stronger spot in the corporate chain.
I can speak from firsthand experience in dealing with many Mr./Mrs. Tenures because I used to work for the federal government and chalking up a few decades was not only normal but expected. When I left, my colleagues were shocked because I would no longer have the comfort (which it was) of the government lifestyle but I needed a new challenge. I find that at least trying—even if in your own company—at something more challenging is a healthy way to build your business portfolio. Then again, change isn’t for everyone… including the Mr./Mrs. Tenure who looks at their time with the company as not only a badge of honor (which it is) but like a Sherriff’s badge to tell people what do to, how it’s always been done, and still thinks a flip phone is just as good an iPhone. It’s not, by the way.
Their inability to move with the growing changes of the office makes them a unique office weirdo and one that tends to rub people the wrong way. When it comes to properly handling the Mr./Mrs. Tenure, one thing to remember is that despite their inability to shift their demeanor, they are a wealth of knowledge when it comes to the company’s history. Along with that, it’s only fair to treat their tenure with respect… keeping in mind they don’t rule the room. Fortunately for my argument (and for you), everyone in the office feels the same about the Mr./Mrs. Tenure’s curmudgeonly ways. So, while you or your colleagues are seemingly more task-based and eager to climb the ladder, you can’t let Mr./Mrs. Tenure’s inability to flex with modern times hinder your own future.
In the end, they will not be a part of the company’s future roadmap because they don’t have to be whereas you do and it’s your job to take the wheel and drive forward. This can be hard because it can feel like trying to talk to a stubborn child. So, what do you do? The proper way to approach Mr./Mrs. Tenure is to only engage when you need to and not force your ways onto them. As a united team front, you can’t allow them to not follow company protocols (from technology to culture) but you also can’t twist their arm. Allow Mr./Mrs. Tenure to occupy their own space but not overcrowd the team’s ability to grow. Some office weirdos can be more easygoing than others but when it comes to Mr./Mrs. Tenure, don’t dismiss their bad habits 100% but rather use their past success to support your future gains by treating them kindly. You don’t always have to agree with them, but you never know when they’re going to leave, and they may even help give you a boost up if you put in some effort.
Credits:
Modern Manners Guy is a Quick and Dirty Tips podcast. Thanks to the team at Quick and Dirty Tips: Adam Cecil, Morgan Christianson, Holly Hutchings, Davina Tomlin and producer, Dan Feierabend. I’m your host, Richie Frieman. If you have a question for me, send me a voice message or email at manners@quickanddirtytips.com. For more information about the show, visit quickanddirtytips.com, or check out the show notes in your podcast app.